Good-Bye for now

I learned late last night that my husbands Step-Grandmother passed away. While it is a sad event, it was time for her to move on. She was no longer living the life she wanted to live. Nor was it a life that her family wanted her to live. However, she left this world on her terms. Much like my grandma did. She decided when it was her time (though she had voiced her opinion about it being her time many many times before. :) ) Now she is at peace and can do a much better job at watching over us all.

I had only been in her life for the past 11 years or so, but she was special to me. She was very sweet and could be quite sassy. She was also one of those grandmas that you never knew what she was going to say. She liked to keep people guessing. It was always a joy to see her at family gatherings. As she started to get less and less steady on her feet, I would always try to help with moving her and she would always tell me "Jeannie, you're so sweet". Little did she know that I didn't do it because I was trying to be sweet. I did it because it is in my blood. Helping people is in every fiber of my being. It's what I do. It is what I have been trained to do and it just happens automatically. Helping her with such a small task as sitting in a chair at Christmas was my pleasure. I may not be good at much, but I am good at that and it meant a lot that she knew it.

I regret that she never got to meet Autumn. For some reason I have this weird thing where I think that it is very important for grandparents and great grandparents to meet new children. I don't know if I am hoping that their years of wisdom will rub off on the baby or if they will pass on some secret code that will tell them how to live a fulfilling life. I know that she can see her now, but it's not the same.

Grandma Rose, thank you for letting me into your life for a brief moment. You touched my heart and I will always remember you. Please watch over us as you wait to meet with us again. I, selfishly, must as one or two more favors of you. Please hold Ember's donor angle close to you and whisper sweet songs of joy in his/her ear. Tell her angel that we love her/him. Also, if you see my Grandma Hill, tell her I love her. Until we meet again....I love you. We love you.

Normal revisited...

I was recently reading through a bunch of old posts that I had made on Ember's old CaringBridge site and came across one that I feel needs to be revisited. For those of you that don't know what CaringBridge is, click here to find out.

The post that I am talking about was titled Normal and it can be found here.

Since Autumn has been born, pleople have asked me if she is a normal baby or if she is having any problems like Ember had. People ask me all the time how Ember is doing now and if she is normal or if our life has returned to normal again.

So, again, I find myself asking....What is normal?

Normal for us is looking into those beautiful eyes and not seeing one ounce of yellow.

Normal is a round belly just because some babies actually have round bellies.

Normal is still checking her temperature constantly because she feels warm even though she doesn't have a fever.

Normal for Ember is going to Children's once a month for labs to make sure LuLu the liver is still happy.

Normal is not having to see the liver team for 6 months.

Normal is knowing that my baby isn't sick anymore, but she still has the potential to become very sick, very quickly.

Normal is 1 medication in the morning and two at night without a fight.

Normal is knowing that Ember is stronger than anyone I have ever met.

Normal is newborn jaundice with levels that were actually higher than Ember's ever were.

Normal is still love. Even more love than I thought I could ever feel.

Normal is still fear. Even more fear than I thought I could ever feel.

Normal is two happy, healthy babies to brighten the day.

Normal is calling the pediatrician and liver team a bazillion times in the course of two days because one of both of the girls is sick just to make sure that everyone is on the same page.

Even though Ember's scars are healed and covered up, I know they are still there.

Normal is still feeling my heart break for all liver babies, especially those that have been called away.

Normal is waiting for Autumn to turn 11 weeks. One more day than Ember was when she had her first surgery.

Normal is praying and hoping beyond all hope that my second baby will never, ever have to go through anything like what her sister has gone through. Yet, praying that she will find it in her heart to be just as sweet and compassionate.

Normal is wondering what milestones will come for Autumn before, at the same time, or after they came for Ember.

Normal is wondering if this baby will crawl before she walks because she won't have an enlarged liver or spleen to stop her.

Normal is the shock of how emotional I was in November when talking to people about Ember's transplant anniversary. Especially in front of a large group of Partylite consultants.

Normal is watching my two babies create a silent bond that even I, as their mommy, will never be able to understand.

Normal is still talking about poo.

Normal is most definitely waiting. Waiting for Autumn to grow into a little person. Waiting for Ember to discover something new and exciting. Waiting for my girls to become the best of friends...I think I am starting to like this whole waiting thing.

Normal is still being strong and determined, but now it is to guide them both through this life. Being strong and determined to help them turn into strong, beautiful, and compassionate people.

Normal is two beautiful smiles that brighten my day no matter how bad it is. Normal is absolutely not what I expected.

So, is Autumn a normal baby? Is Ember a normal baby now? No, my girls are extraordinary babies. Is our life normal again? It always has been normal. Again, it may not meet your definition of normal, but it meets ours.

My love affair with Partylite

As most of you know, I started selling Partylite products in late June. I can't express enough how much I love, love, love their products. They are both functional and elegant. Their fragrances never cease to please. If I could, I would completely redecorate my entire house to incorporate just about every piece of Partylite I could. Right now, that's not an option, but I hope that it will be one day. The new catalog for Partylite delivers just as much promise as I hoped it would. The big plus is that there are a lot of purple and complimenting silver items. Purple is absolutely my most favorite color ever. I think that it is complimented very well with silver so I am excited about the new product. Not to mention the new Two Sister's Gourmet line! I am in love with their Snickerdoodle Sweet Cheese Ball Mix!

I do feel some sort of accomplishment that I have my own business. This is something that is mine and I will only get out of it what I put into it. I am very pleased that I can work when I want to rather than when I have to. It fits my schedule. Especially with staying home with the girls and with Matt working so much. It has been a great help to our family so far as well. I know that people are always waiting for the catch, but with Partylite there truly isn't one. It is free to start (major bonus for me since I was not working when I started selling) and they sell quality products. Through Partylite I have also met some wonderful and inspirational people. I know that it is helping me to be both a better person and better at my business.

I absolutely love to give back to people. Ask anyone who knows me and they will, hopefully, tell you that it's true too. The opportunity to sell Partylite is the single most rewarding thing that I can offer anyone. Especially someone who is struggling to make ends meet. I know that it may seem hard or scary or time consuming, but it's all worth it. Plus it's not hard or time consuming. It was a bit scary at first because I do get a bit self conscious standing up in front of people talking, but once you start getting your paychecks, it becomes fun! I mean, where else can you make $800 to $1,000 a month for working just about 12 to 18 hours?!!! Plus there are all kinds of incentives that I always try to take advantage of. I have received some great product for free!!!! I can't imagine working with a better group of people or a better company. Here's to a great, candle, and food filled 2010! If you need anything at all, I'm your girl!

I have posted a few pictures of some of my favorite items right now.






Weathered Zinc Lantern











Amethyst Hurricane

Hammered Silver 3-Wick Holder